Handing Difficult Times- A Biblical Approach to Problem Solving

Problems are as old as the world itself. The creation of the earth was a solution to an existing problem. God had to face the problem and proffer a solution to it. The beautiful earth we live in today was born out of a problem; out of chaos. Problems are meant to be solved. As humans, we cannot shy away from the fact that we face problems everyday of our lives (Job 14:1). The level we are today is as a result of the problems we have solved or failed to solve. We can’t run away from problems, they existed before each of us came to be.

My wife and I had a discussion one night about the problems we are facing as a young family struggling to raise three teenage girls. According to my wife’s opinion, I fall asleep too quickly than think about the issue at hand before I fall asleep. Needless to let you know, I take less than five minutes to fall asleep once I jump on my bed at night. My response to her opinion was that it is now time to sleep, and I can solve, or think about the problems when I wake up.

It is true that problems exist in our lives and the best way to deal with them is to handle them as they manifest themselves.

SOME TRUTHS ABOUT PROBLEMS
1. Problems are meant to be solved - face it!
2. There is a solution to every problem - find it!
3. Problems existed before the world came to be - Understand it!
4. You can out-live your problems – stand firm!
5. You can be better through hard times – Endure it!

WHY? WHY? WHY?
In my daily work routine as a chaplain barely a day goes by without encountering a patient or family with the WHY question. This question is usually right on our lips when we face problems or passing through hard times. We ask questions such as “why me?”, “why now?”, “O’ God, why?” However, most of the time we do not ask such questions because we want answers; we simply ask in agony or in despair, lending ourselves to depression and discouragement. But, why does God allow us to go through hard times? Why does God allow problems to come our way?( See my article: "THE ABSENT PRESENCE OF GOD)"

1. To prove God’s sovereignty
2. To show us our limitations 
3. To bring us closer to God

HANDLING DIFFICULT TIMES
The major problem we have in hard times is not what we are going through but finding a solution to the situation. Undoubtedly, some problems appear to be irreparable; yet, we can be better through them. In order to handle difficult times effectively, we must apply the following principles in solving the problem at hand:

1. UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM (Hosea 4:6).Reinhold Niebuhr an American Theologian once prayed; “Lord, give me the grace to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Several times, we cry over spilled milk. Understand the problem: Is it something you can change? If not, trust God for the grace to accept it.

2. COMMIT IT TO GOD (Gen. 1:2, Acts 12:5). The situations in Genesis 1 and Acts 12 have something in common – God was involved. Solution came in Genesis because the Spirit of God was present; Peter was delivered because prayer was made to God. Several times, we are quick to complain and ask questions instead of committing the problem to God.

3. LEARN FROM THE PROCESS: There is always a positive lesson in every negative circumstance. No matter how bad the situation may appear to be, there is something good we can learn from it. The best time to learn and grow as Christians is in difficult times. (James 1:2 – 4).

4. PROPHECY (Ezek. 37:7, Amos 3:8). This is where most of us fail. Instead of allowing ourselves to be pitied or becoming an object of scorn and despair, we ought to open our mouth and prophecy the mind of God to the situation. “If you shall say to this mountain…………” So many “mountains” will not move until they are spoken to. As I write this article I am dealing with a major issue that, I need to speak to. For the last one year I have been hit by some crazy drivers more than 5 times, the last time being yesterday (May 22/2011) as I was leaving church. Five accidents in less than one year all hit from back?????; This is where speaking to the problem become practical

5. PRAISE GOD (1 Thess.5:18; Eph. 5:20). The most difficult time to praise God is in hard times. Yet, it is the most effective time to praise God. Everyone can praise God when the going is smooth; but, how many of us can truly praise God in difficult times (Hab. 3:17 – 18). Genuinely praising God in hard time adds to our maturity and compels God to step into the situation.

Problems are part of life. We face them every day. As Christians, we must bear in mind that God is greater than every problem that comes our way. Note however that whether we are in problems or not, God does not charge, He remains  the same God, on the Throne- HE IS IMUTABLE. Hence, let go and let God. He will carry you through. Your father Knows…….

Walking in Water, Illuminating Our Spirits.Matthew 14:22-33. Part two

When the disciples saw Jesus walking on the water, they were terrified. Jesus assured them they had nothing to fear. In verse 28 Peter asked for a sign, he wanted to be sure that it was Jesus. Note, what Peter said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to you on the water.” In this request, we see two things, first, a request for a sign. Peter wanted proof it was Jesus. Peter was not accepting the word of Jesus. We also see true faith in Peter’s request. There was no doubt in Peter’s mind, if the one the disciples saw walking on the water was Jesus and He commanded Peter to come to Him Peter would be able to get out of the boat and walk, not swim to Jesus.  In Peter’s request, we also see an expression of observance of the will of Jesus. Peter did not attempt to go to Jesus until Jesus said, “Come” (Matthew 14:29).  The lesson taught in Peter’s request is, we must rashly and presumptuously enter into any situation. Our will to serve and even suffer, must not be based solely on willingness but on the will of the Lord. Peter's willingness to leave the safety of the boat reveals a very strong dependence upon the power and word of Christ. What difficulty or danger could stand before such a faith and such zeal?  Jesus could have condemned the request as foolish and rash. However, Jesus knew that it came from a sincere and zealous affection to Him, and graciously acknowledged the request. Note, The Lord is well pleased with the expressions of His people's love, though mixed with infirmities, and makes the best of them.  When the Pharisees asked for a sign, Jesus rebuked them. When Peter asked for a sign, Jesus gave him a sign, Peter walked on the water.  In verse 30, there is a great lesson; Jesus told Peter to come to Him that He might not only prove His great power over nature, but that Peter know his own weakness; for as he would encourage his faith, so he would check his confidence, and make him ashamed of it.  A second lesson in this verse is one we should never forget. The strongest faith and the greatest courage have a mixture of fear and nothing but perfect love can cast out fear. While Peter expressed great faith in the safety of the boat, after leaving the boat his faith weakened. We should never forget trials do not weaken our faith; it is the length of trials.  While Peter kept his eye fixed upon Jesus, upon His word and power, he walked on the water. When Peter took notice of the danger he was in, his faith weakened. Abraham was strong in faith, because he did not let the discouraging improbabilities that the promise lay under, but kept his eye on God's power; and so, “in hope he believed (Romans 4:18). Peter when he saw the wind, should have remembered what he had seen, when the winds and the sea obeyed Jesus (Matthew 8:27).  In verse 30, we see the effect of fear. When Peter’s faith was strong he walked upon the water, when his faith weakened he began to sink. The sinking of our spirits is due to the weakness of our faith.  Being a fisherman, Peter was probably a good swimmer. Although there is no Biblical support, it may have been in the mind of Peter, if he could not walk on the water, he could swim to Jesus. Peter may have done what we are often guilty of doing, trusting in what we can do. Jesus, let Peter begin to sink, to show him that the right hand of Jesus, and not Peter’s abilities was his security. It was Jesus’ great mercy to Peter, that, upon the failing of his faith, He did not leave him sink to sink to the bottom like a stone, but gave him time to cry, “Lord, save me.” Such is the care of our Lord concerning true believers.  The remedy of Peter’s situation was the old, tried, approved remedy, and that was prayer: he cried, “Lord, save me.” Note, the manner of his praying; it is fervent and urgent. When faith is weak, prayer should be strong. The realization we are in a dangerous situation will and the realization of dependence on God should make us cry to Him. Jesus is the great Savior, He came to save; those that would be saved, must not only come to Him, but cry out to Him for salvation; but we are never brought to this, till we find ourselves sinking; sense of need will drive us to Him.  Though there was a mixture of presumption with Peter's faith while in the boat, and unbelief with his faith when he left the boat, Jesus did not cast him off; first, He saved him (Matthew 14:31). Jesus “immediately stretched out His hand and took hold of Him. Jesus’ hand is still stretched out to all believers, to keep them from sinking. Though it may seem at times, He has let go of us He has not. Our deliverance from our fears and shortcomings is due to the hand of his power and grace.  In verse 31, we are told Jesus rebuked Peter for his little faith and doubting. The lesson in this verse is, our faith may be true, and yet weak; at first, like a grain of mustard-seed. Peter had faith enough to get out of the boat, but not enough to carry him to Jesus. Our discouraging doubts and fears are all due to the weakness of our faith. The purpose of faith is to break down the barrier of doubt. What do you suppose would happen if we believed more and doubted less?  When Jesus came into the boat, the storm ceased and those in the boat worshipped Him.  The disciples knew before the incident that Jesus was the Son of God, however, faith after a conflict with unbelief, is sometimes the more active, and gets to greater degrees of strength by being exercised. It is good for us to know more and more of certainty of those things of heaven.

Work Cited:

• Henry's Matthew Commentary to the whole Bible
• Holman Concise Bible Commentary and Dictionary
• Commentary on The Gospels - John Lightfoot
• RSV bible

Hospital Visit: Dos and Don'ts. A Pastoral Care Note: Fort- Bend Church Presentation

Dos

Be cheerful and make pleasant conversation that focuses on the patient.     NB: You can visit by silence, - Ministry of presence 1.    None verbal communication. 2.    Body language, i.e., touch, nodding etc.

Display concern for the patient’s illness and respect for his or her feelings.

·         Don’t draw parallelism. “My brother had the same problem, unfortunately he died.”

·        
Acknowledge patients feelings. Avoid saying, “I Know” instead, say “I understand.”

Watch for doors that lead to the feeling level of communication and be alert for negative feelings.

Shape the tone and substance of your conversation from cues, verbal and nonverbal, offered by the patient;

1.    Has the patient signed off?

2.    “I am ready”

3.    “I want to go home” DIE?

4.    “I am ok”  “I know I have a few days to life but I am OK”

Listen attentively and be empathetic.

·         Give patient time to talk

·         Eye contact is very important

·         Avoid starring in every corner of the room.

Take notice of what is not said as much as what is said.

·         Body language

·         Eye contact

·         Emotions, i. e tears, sadness, etc

·         Sighs, heavy breath taking…

Share Scripture and prayer; ask the patient if she/he has special needs as you prepare to pray. 

·         Listen for special “unusual needs”

Don’ts

Don’t tell the patient unpleasant news including your troubles.

·         How good the sermon was on Sunday – unless the patient asks.

·         This visit is not about you, it is about the patient

Don’t whisper when talking to relatives or medical staff in the patient’s room.

Don’t assume a comatose patient cannot hear.

·         Great percentage of patients in comatose hear and are aware of the surrounding

What is the purpose of a church visit to the hospital? Here are a few:

1. To share Christ with those who do not know Him (goodwill ambassador)
2. To express Christian love to a person who may be afraid, discouraged, or lonely (fellowship and love)
3. To show friendship to a member of the Body of Christ (relational development)
4. To offer the encouragement of the Scriptures and prayer (spiritual edification)
5. To affirm that the church family is there to support the person (sympathy, empathy and solidarity)
6. To minister to the person and family in times of death, fear and uncertainty (emotional, spiritual and psychological support via one's presence); although theologically questionable, to many people the presence of a pastor psychologically and emotionally symbolizes the presence of God's care.
7. Rewarding people who have faithfully served our church by honoring them with some attention (recognition) when they feel vulnerable. Though this may sound trite, relationships are built around reciprocity.

Needs of the Dying

Spend their last days with their loved ones

Remain in control of their decisions

Be treated with respect

Have their spiritual/personal views respected

Be treated with compassion and kindness

Die with dignity

Religious support for dying and grieving Pastoral care services

Provide meaningful support and guidance for dying people and their families and caregivers. 

At the end of people's lives:

·         Represent the congregation in conveying a community of support.

·         Help individuals discuss their feelings and beliefs about death.( Case: “I am dying and I am unhappy about it)”

·         Discussions about an individual's relationship with God or any need for spiritual guidance and direction. Forgiveness, repentance, etc

·         Emotional and social support , including visits, calls, and check-ins

Case # 1

The case of a patient (mother) who wanted to die and repeatedly said she was ready, but the daughter, the only child was praying for healing

Case # 2

Case of a 98 year old female who was praying that God may “take her “but the family was praying that she recovers. Two of her children were praying that she live two more years to make it 100.

Case # 3

Case of a faithful church member who had stayed in hospital for many months, he became tied of being sick and being in hospital. He asked the church not to pray for his getting better for he was ready to die.