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"To everything there is a season." That's what it says in the Bible in the book of Ecclesiastes. And that can be true of friendships as well as in other areas of life. Sometimes you have a best friend all while growing up but later in life you out-grow each other. Sometimes you have a special friend that helps you through a crisis and eventually you don't see each other as much. But for that season of your life, they were a blessing. And sometimes you are able to keep your friendship alive throughout your life. That is an even greater blessing.
Friendships are different than marital partnerships. Marriage is a sacred vow you enter into with your partner and with God. It is a "cord of three strands" relationship that God takes seriously (and so should we) because it is a living picture of Christ's love for the church to a world that needs to see God's faithfulness lived out before them. And even though you can have great friendships like King David and Jonathon had, sometimes the ongoing relationship needs to be ended if they become toxic to your life, but especially if they become toxic to your marriage. And that's what happens sometimes. Some friends just aren't good for the health of your marriage.
It's tragic when spouses allow their friendships to interfere with the well-being of their marriages. Some spouses will say that they don't want to end the friendship because they've "been friends for so long." One of many answers to that could be: When fruit is ripe, it is good to partake of it, but when it turns rotten, then it's time to get rid of it. The Bible says, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.' come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning: for there are some who are ignorant of God -- I say this to your shame." (1 Corinthians 15:33-34)
A person might say that if they let go of this friend, they "won't have any friends." It would be better to not have any friends for a while than to have friends who are an enemy to your marriage and pull you in a wrong direction. Good friendship in the Bible wasn't as dependent upon availability as it was on helping rather than hurting one another. It's the Matthew 5 principle if your "hand" or your "eye" causes you to do what you shouldn't, then you must get rid of that which is causing the problem. Friendships are disposable, marriages aren't supposed to be (except in very rare cases as outlined in the Bible).
Sometimes friendships can be detrimental to the health of your marriage. There are a number of ways in which this can happen. "One is when a friend, whether same-sex or opposite, becomes your main confidant. That kind of sharing is what builds true and deep intimacy. Thus, when you confide your concerns and fears, your hopes and dreams, your struggles and temptations with a friend to the exclusion of your spouse, you forge your strongest bonds of intimacy with the friend. Another way in which friends can hurt your marriage is by consuming too much of your time. Couple time -- the time you spend together, connecting with each other and nurturing your relationship -- is a premium for most of us. Jeannette and Robert Lauer say’s that friends who expect or demand so much of your time that they deprive you of couple time are foes to your marriage." ( from the article "With Friends like These, from Marriage Partnership Magazine
